Day 174: Not Lovin' the Lottery

If you've read my "About my Project" page, you'll see on there that one of the first New Thing ideas I had was to play the lottery numbers on the back of a fortune cookie's fortune. I finally got around to having Chinese food (can't believe it's been almost 6 months without Chinese food!) and got a hold of my magic numbers.

After work on Day 174, I went to a nearby Chevron station to put my numbers to the test on a Fantasy 5 lotto ticket. There were six numbers on the fortune cookie, but I decided that I'd just use the first five and see what happened. They should all be lucky, right?

Well, I realized upon walking into the gas station that I had no idea even how to buy the type of lottery ticket where you pick numbers. Logically, I went up to the counter (following the flashy lotto tickets, signs and posters) and handed them my fortune to get me a ticket with those numbers.

They looked at me like I was an alien from outer space.

In some semblance of broken English, they pointed me to a kiosk for people like me who are difficult bet on lucky numbers instead of just going with the random pick. That little kiosk was the most confusing place I have ever been in my life, and I think they make it that way as psychological punishment. There are approximately 50 different lotteries going on in one booth, and little scantron sheets that may or may not match up to whichever one you want to play. And it's nowhere near a person who could help you understand it.

I somehow devised which one was the Fantasy Five. It had I guess 10 boxes, each filled with numbers 1-30, Using my fortune as a guide, I filled out one number in each box.

I went back up to the counter and the lady ran the sheet a couple of times, noticeably having problems with the thing. Her co-worker came over and relayed to me that one box was one set of picks, so instead of filling out one number in each box, I needed to fill out all of my numbers in one box.

Confusing, I know.

So at last, I got back to the kiosk and started filling out one box with all my numbers. I went back up, gave her my sheet, and had actually filled out SIX numbers (all of them on the fortune cookie) instead of five.

The whole situation got embarrassing. Seriously. I am a 20-something, college-educated woman who, by the way, was excellent at filling out scantron bubbles during my educational career. High-school dropouts and the senile elderly people play the lottery all the time. And I can't seem to get this right. Blech.

I headed BACK to the kiosk, filled out yet ANOTHER sheet, using only my five numbers and submitted it to the cashier. She handed me a great little slip of paper with my numbers on it, and asked me for a dollar. I gladly presented my favorite piece of plastic, and she said "Cash Only."

Good. Lord. Almighty. This was not meant to be.

I never carry cash, for any reason ever. Literally. Unless I'm parking downtown.

So I didn't buy the lotto ticket after all. But I did succeed in failing to buy a lottery ticket four times in one day! That's probably a first in the history of humanity. Go me!

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