Day 70: Lady Locksmith

Shakespeare once said, "Open, Locks/Whoever Knocks!"

Taking Shakespeare's advice one step further, I set out to open all locks before I knocked, whether the lock's owner wanted me in or not. That's right, I learned how to pick locks.

I watched quite a few videos on YouTube to prepare me for the challenge. The videos suggested a tension wrench and bobby pins; the tension wrench to twist the lock and the bobby pins to push the lock's innards around.

I have about a billion bobby pins from my ballet dancing days (I think they mate and multiply when I'm not looking) so I had that part down. I figured, instead of buying a tool for this challenge, that I could fashion a "tension wrench" out of those bobby pins, too. Honestly, I'll never have a tension wrench on me when I need to pick a lock for real, but I can always find bobby pins in my purse or hair.

Tools of the Trade

After researching my game plan, I went at it, shaping bobby pins into various tools to pick my front door's lock. I set up camp at my door, dead bolted it, and started picking. It took me about fifteen minutes of picking before I had to go back to the instructional videos to help me out. Something wasn't right.

I got another idea for how to bend the bobby pins for maximum leverage and went back the the door. After bending over for a while my back started hurting, and after standing on my knees, they started getting sore. Lock-picking is a full-body activity that I have not trained for! (That or my body is aging faster than it should...hoping for the former.)

I stuck around a little longer, feeling, shaking, pushing, picking, sliding, turning, wrenching, and wiggling with the pins...with no success...at all...not even a little.

After going back again to the instructional videos, I think I may have found out what's wrong--my door may be a "security lock." Why there is any other type of lock (an un-secure lock??), I'll never know, but it's the most likely contributor to my inability to follow the videos. I swear I was doing everything they were to the T, only my efforts were lost.

Challenge failed.

I had to stop after my body and fingers started to ache.

Well Shakespeare, I hope your phrase follows through for me. Rest safe America, I'll have to do the knocking to open doors...for now.

Ice Ice Leah

In thinking about new things I wanted to learn and do this year, one of them was to learn all the lyrics to a "Ice Ice Baby." I am a child of the '80's and knew woefully little of the song, pretty much only "All right stop, collaborate and LISTEN" and the chorus. A true shame. I was raised on country and classic rock and didn't realize I could have my own opinions on music until middle school--way past the time "Ice Ice Baby" was on the radio.

It's such an awesomely bad song, and to break out of my shell a little and sing something that is both wildly entertaining, but already not taken too seriously was the perfect challenge for me. So yesterday, I learned all the lyrics to and sang "Ice Ice Baby." I haven't even watched the whole video yet. I feel like I learned something from this, that at least now I am bold enough to embarrass myself a little, but just not watch myself doing it...


P.S. I apologize for being late on some of these posts, my apartment has the sketchiest internet connection...

Tebahpla

Imagine this scenario: I am pulled over by a cop late one night who assumes I’ve been drinking. He asks me to get out of the car and perform a field sobriety test. He asks me to walk the straight line. I fall out of line because I never learned how to walk so awkwardly and I’m on edge because of the flashing lights and interrogation. Next, he asks me to say the alphabet backwards. Before today, I would have failed, being promptly administered a breathalyzer or worse, toted off to the clink! Today, however, I learned how to say the alphabet backwards so that this situation will never befall me. Oh, and it’s a pretty cool party trick (if you have parties with little kids).

Just as an aside, learning how to make this video was a pretty cool accomplishment too. And I signed up for YouTube. Now I can post more and better videos as I continue to do something new every day!