UPDATE: I've gotten SO MANY pageviews to this little ditty today. I guess it's like the long version of sending a mass drunk text? Perhaps you like watching me bare my soul in the least dignified way possible?
Whatever it is, my dear readers liked it! And by God, I will give my readers what they want! More BUI! (But not today, I still have a headache.)
And props to Drunk Leah for spelling tequila right 8 times. My grammar could use a shoe shine, but my spelling was AWESOME.
On that note, I'm finally going to edit this baby. Or make commentary. Mostly make commentary.
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Hello.
(Why Hello to you too Drunk Leah! So glad to see you on the other side *shiny, happy emoticon*)
Disclaimer: Relatives, please leave now. I will likely upset you if you continue to read this. Likewise, anyone under 21, this is not how you should act every Monday.
(Heads up, I should have probably said, "this is not how you should act ever." Why Monday was important at this juncture, I'm not sure. Am I saying it's okay to act like this every Saturday, but not every Monday? Okay, you're right, I didn't have ANY implications at this point.)
Right now, as my "New Thing,"
I am blogging under the influence. I've read that you should
write drunk and edit sober.
(I was channeling my inner Hemingway and didn't even know it! My next blogging masterpiece will rival "Old Man and the Sea") So that's what I will do. Only for the "Followers" who see this before I post it to Facebook, you can see this before I edited. CONGRATS!! Send me notes, I will edit tomorrow.
(No one sent me notes, or left me comments. Because while I get between 50 and 100 dear readers visiting my site each day who gladly take little pieces of my soul, they will not leave any piece of theirs :( Please leave me comments!! I love comments! I will give chocolate to every person who leaves me a comment.)
I am not proud of myself and my behavior, but it was a hard day. I have days where I feel an unnaturally low self-esteem. Where I realize that my pittance of a salary reflects on my self-worth and how I've blown all of my potential and how I was never as beautiful as I thought I might be.
(You should have heard how sad this was until I read it out loud and determined that someone may, in fact, call psychological services on me. I thought I could make fun of my plummeting confidence in the same way comedians can make their horrible, tragic life stories mind-bendingly hilarious. Sadly, I have no such powers. Sigh)
It makes me think of when I got my report card in fourth grade and didn't think I would pass up to fifth grade, because I have always had self-esteem on life-support.
(Great story development here, Drunk Leah)
Except under the influence of red wine or tequila, which makes me INTERSTING AND COOL.
Which should make this blog post interesting and cool!
But it probably won't be. (Scratch that--people loved it! Bonus points for tequila!)
My boyfriend took me out to the Mexican joint "Tacos & Tequila" to cheer me up with margaritas, which I had a couple (or more) and tequila shots.
Tequila likes me. Tequila makes me happy because before tequila, I was sad. Now I'm not.
HA! I have tequila. Tequila is where sadness goes to die.
(Pure poetry! This can be the start of something beautiful)
And tequila makes "Step Brothers" freaking hilarious.
(
I watched Step Brothers after tequila and LOVED IT. And I hate that kind of comedy. I am more of a drama/rom-com/dram-com kind of girl, definitely not a Will Ferrell type, but with tequila, all things are possible!)
And I am writing this post under the influence because it's new, and that's what I'm trying to do for this year.
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A sad ending to a sad story. But really, all things are better now. This whole thing started on a crappy Monday when one of my co-workers asked what I did for Halloween. She asked this before I had dulled my inner moody thirteen year-old with caffeine. I ended up saying things like...
"Oh, the only parties I knew of were in Athens, I don't yet have many friends in Atlanta."
"Wait, I have no friends in Atlanta."
"I have never had any friends, ever."
"But it's okay that I don't have friends because I don't have money to hang out with friends."
"Balls, I don't make much money either"
"I have no money and no friends."
"I bet I have no friends because I am ugly."
"I HAVE NOTHING TO OFFER THE WORLD!!!"
"...Tequila!"
Yeah. I know. My inner thirteen year old is a B.
Seriously though. All is well now...phew!
