I don't know if I could ever put my finger on why I never gave them a chance in the first place, but I can list a whole lot of reasons that I don't like them.
- I like books that are either nonfiction, philosophically interesting, award-winning or considered classics. P.S. "NY Times Bestseller" is NOT an award title
- I hate when anyone in America spells the word "fairy, "faerie," or demon, "daemon."
- I don't like gnomes, wizards, animal-human hybrids or Medieval power structures
- Unless it's Harry Potter, you should only be aware of one world, and it should not be called a "Realm"
Now, I am not one to invest much money in fantasy novels, so I picked this one up at the Dollar Tree. It was called "The Purple Emperor" from the "Faerie Wars Chronicles." Apparently this was a good book because the author was a New York Times Bestseller (you know how I feel about that).
The back cover started out with "When Henry Atherton returned to his own life in the suburbs of London, he thought all was well in the Faerie Realm..." Everything I hate all in one sentence (except the fact that he was not an animal-human hybrid, bummer). So I thought it was perfect for me to buy. If I'm going to buy a genre I hate, go all out, right?
So I was flipping through the book and ended up on A GLOSSARY PAGE. No piece of fiction needs a glossary page unless you are reading your first chapter book in third grade out of a textbook. Further, the Glossary had a "Key" to help you decode it--"FOL" Faerie of the Light, "FON" Faerie of the Night, "HMN" human.
I think that amounts to "FML".
Even better, while perusing the glossary, I came across this nugget,
"Hael--Polite Name for Hell."
No, "hael" is how the old ladies of the South say "hell."
I jumped into my cozy bed and opened to page one. There I was embarking on a story about how Lord Hairstreak (This author literally named a villain hair streak?) was trying to kill Prince Pyrgus who is about the become the Purple Empereor in the Fairy Realm (I will not stoop so low as to call it the "Faerie Realm"). Pyrgus's sister, Blue (yes, that is her name), is a fairy in love with Henry from London in the "Analogue World," but the portal between the worlds is closing! AH!
And then, after 100 pages, I started thinking to myself that I never gave this book a chance at all. Not even a little bit. I bought it at a Dollar Tree for $1.04, got it because the title was funny, and made fun of the content before I even started reading. This is the wrong way to approach a challenge. Maybe I should try reading something like "The Hobbit," or another classic to give a fair shot to the genre.
Sigh.
Anyone know of any well-written fantasy books that I should try? I'll attempt to make another "New Thing" out of finishing a fantasy book.
